1. What are some of your nicknames?
Nina and Gaki

2. What do you do before bedtime?
Surf the web or finish homework. 

3. What fandom(s) are you most into at the moment?
Harry Potter and anything with Superheroes.

4. What is your favorite scent?
Leaves burning.

5. What video games are you playing at the moment?
I do not play video games.

6. What do you eat the most?
Bread. And apples.

7. Do you trust easily?
I must second aggybird, "Not at all."

8. What was your first big fandom?
YuYu Hakusho 

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
Chemistry class. 

10. Do you have a good body-image?
I dislike my pudgy tummy and thighs. And my teeth but I am getting braces soon.

11. What's your favorite Holiday?
Halloween, absolutely!

12. What websites do you visit most?
LJ, wajas.com, Scribe's Scribbles, links from madderr.livejournal.com, and my school's email.

13. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Bestfriend & adopted lil sister, boyfriend and some other friends. Also the person who I love who hates me. >_<

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Pretty awesome. Great sense of humor and sensible when she needs to be.

15. What’s the last song that got stuck in your head?
Slipknot -Psychosocial

16. What’s your favorite item of clothing?
Superman shirt and black flipflops

17. What's better: to give or to receive?
Give, in the end. Though recieving is nice all the time. 

18. What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground?
Thats mine. Forget it.

19. What items could you not go without during the day?
Some paper(though preferably my sketchbook but if I cant have the sketchbook)

20. What should you be doing right now?
Probably trying to learn something from chemistry....but thats what study groups are for! 

Who wants to get tagged?

The first fifteen people to comment on this post get to request a drabble from me. In return, you have to post this meme in your journal. 

Please? I wanna write drabbles for people! ^_^ I probably couldnt do fanfic, but whatever fandom you want I'm willing to try if I've seen a few episodes.

So, my cousin and I have been fighting. Why? He eats like a pig at a restaurant where the food is shared by all, and I called him out on it. Then I woke him up and he took the computer when I was sill logged in (We have turns for a reason.) and I turned off the AC. It went back on cause Tia asked, and I went to watch TV. Juan then decides to take the remote that works for the tv and leave one that doesn't, but I said "whatever, I'm watching the next few shows on this channel." Now obviously I'm back on line and still really wanting to go home. Away from mi primo.

And then there's my two younger cousins who drive me insane. The little girl Andrea has the worst attitude and gets so bratty. She loves making fun of my teeth and saying I'm getting fat, but she's the one wearing plus size clothing. I've lost weight, and all my pants/shorts are big on me. Then her brother loves to hit me or hit himself then say I hit him. I can deal with him more than Andrea though.

Anyways: First Story! Yay!
I wonder how much you really knew about me. I knew a lot about you. I knew your favorite color was slate blue, your favorite food was strawberries and you liked reading poetry.

I write poetry, about different things, like emotion, nature, and, a lot about you. Your black hair, jade green eyes, and how much I loved you. But you were blind to that. You loved Derek. You talked to me about it, how he turned down every pass, flirt, and hope of loving each other. When you cried, I held you, wrapped you up with me in a blanket and rocked you until you calmed down.

You would thank me, saying you felt better, sometimes talk about something else, or leave if it was too late. It's always too late. I've lost you to him. That cold, heartless jerk. He doesn't deserve you.

As if I should talk. As if I deserve you. I'm tall, clunky, ugly and stupid. That's the joke. The oaf. The idiot. The moron. The fool. The one who barely made it out of high school and who’s drowning through college. I deserve you the least. But, I still wish, I keep wishing, that one day, you'll love me.

“Who am I kidding!? He’ll never want me!!” I throw my kitchen stool to the floor and the doorbell rings. Come to cry more about Derek? He told me he doesn’t want you. I can’t wait until he does reject you.

“Hey, Brian. What hap-” You threw yourself onto me, and instead of crying, you kissed me. I moaned and kissed you back, letting my tongue snake into your mouth. You moaned and wrapped your arms around my neck tighter. I pulled you in and we broke for air. “Brian, I, I love you.”

“I love you too. I've been so stupid. Derek doesn't care about me, but, you've dealt with my whining for a year. You've cared, and I never noticed before.” God, that smile of yours. It fit you perfectly. Just like everything else you did or said.

“I don't care. I've got you now.” I lead you to the couch and we sat down. “Want some strawberries? I bought them today.”

“I'd love some.” I pulled the blanket around you and went to the kitchen to pull out a dish of your favorite food. I rinsed them in the sink and went to sit besides you. You wrapped me in the blanket with you and I wrapped one arm around your waist. I fed you a strawberry and bit my lip at how sensually you did it. I fed you another, and another, and soon, I was on top of you, sucking your lips.

“Ben,” You sighed as I picked you up. “Take me.”

“Oh, Brian.” I laid you on my bed, the plate of strawberries on my night table. We stripped, and I was on you again. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Yes, now. Please.” You were, I was and gods, did I want you. I felt every inch of you, kissed everywhere I could and finally when neither of us could wait I took you and if felt so right.

I woke-up and looked around the living room. A bowl of strawberries was on the coffee table, the blanket covering me.

A dream. A stupid, stupid dream. Of course, last night, you said you were going to confess to Derek. Straight out tell him that you loved him. I lost. Derek really is the better man.

Like I ever had a chance anyways. I'd never deserve you.

The doorbell. Come to share the good news? Come to cry on my shoulder cause he told you no?

“Hey.” You lunged on me, but unlike my dream, crying. “Brian—”

“He turned me down! He said he never wanted me. That he never wanted to see me again!” You sobbed into my chest. I picked you up, cradling you. I wrapped the blanket once again around us and rocked you. I started to hum mom’s lullaby, trying to make you feel even a little better. You shouldn’t cry over Derek, you have me, I love you.

“Thanks Ben.” You looked up at me, a weak smile on those rose petal lips. “That’s a nice lullaby.”

“Its Irish. My mom was Irish. That's where I get this god awful orange hair. Everything else I get from my dad, lumberjack size included.” I smiled as you leaned back against me. “That's why I'm always hiding somewhere on St. Patrick's Day. Mom always made a big fuss over it 'cause it was the only Irish holiday everyone celebrated.”

“I understand.” You frowned deeper, a dark shadow in your eyes.

I stayed silent, rocking you gently. I needed to get away. Before I do something. Something I'll regret. “I'll be right back. You can have some strawberries.”

“Thanks.”

I went into the bathroom, locking the door. I leaned against the wall and sobbed. I had wished this. I had wished he'd reject you, and he did. I knew he would and I didn’t tell you. I wanted you to hurt; then I could get you. I wanted you to cry. I despise myself. Wishing you'd be hurt by the one you loved so I could have you.

I'm worthless. Just like everyone says. Like Elizabeth said, 'You're only good for getting in trouble.'

“Ben? Are you all right?” You cared about me. Just a little gesture, but no one else gave a damn when locked myself in here. Not Josh, not my old gang, not even Elizabeth. Lord forbids she cares about me. “Ben?”

“I'm fine. I'll be right out.” I leaned against the counter and splashed water on my face. My hand fell on my razor blade, and I lifted it to the light. A small spot of dried blood was on it. I dropped it in the trash. I had enough scars. I glanced at my bottle of pills, the anti-depressants. I should take them, but then I’ll never get to sleep tonight. Might as well suffer…

You were on the couch, eating a strawberry as you pet Juniper, my cat. I sat beside you and he jumped onto my lap, rubbed against me and purred. I pet him and he mewled.

“Love you too, Juni.” Satisfied, he jumped off my lap and played with his catnip mouse.

“He adores you, doesn't he?” You laughed. Laugh again, please, just for me? It makes me feel happy, hearing you laugh. “Ben?”

“Yeah,” I looked away, gulping. Breathe, breathe and act normal. I really should take those pills.

“Are you okay? Are you sick?” You put your hand on my shoulder and I tensed. “Ben?”

A tried to talk, but only squeaked. I was going to break. I can't. I can't and I won't. I. Will. Not. Break.

“Ben? What's wrong?” You turned me to face you and I gulped again.

“Don't...be worried...over me.” I managed to choke. “I just, need to be alone.”

“Are you sure?” You felt my cheek with that soft, delicate hand. I was ashamed of my ugliness. Those scars I put on myself when I was younger. Because I was, why my parents died. I had to beg them to come to my softball game. I killed them.

“Like I hurt you.” I felt the tears, building up, begging to fall.

“What?”

“I'm the reason my parents died. I begged them to come to a stupid game, and they died in a car crash. Then, I hurt you.”

“How could you hurt me? You’re my friend.”

“I knew Derek would reject you. I wanted it to happen, so, so I, could have a chance with you. I love you, Brian.” I kissed you, long and hard, then the tears broke, and I cried as I kissed you. “I wished that Derek would hurt you, so I could win you. I treated you like a stupid prize. I'm sorry.”

“You wanted me to be rejected? After all the times you comforted me? Why didn’t you just talk to me?”

“I'm sorry, I really am, Brian!” I pulled you close and cried, but you shoved me away.

“Shut up! Just shut up you good for nothing liar!” You hissed and ran out.

I did deserve that. I did deserve the pain. I wished it on you.
________________________________________________________________________

He wanted me hurting. He wanted Derek to reject me. That, that, stupid, creature!

I ran up to my apartment, barely stopping to lock the door before I collapsed onto my bed. I can't believe him. I really can't. I picked up my phone and looked at the clock. 12:15 PM. I dialed Josh's number and waited.

“Hello?” Lazy bastard was sleeping the day away again.

“Josh, it's me. Can I talk to you?”

“This had better be important Brian.”

An hour later, I finished telling him about the times I went to Ben’s and tonight.

“Whoa. Benny knew Derek would say no, kissed you, and cried?”

“Yes. I don't know what to do.”

“What good things happened?”

“He made me feel better, until I found out he knew, he hummed this really sweet lullaby for me, and that's it.”

“Was it like this?” He hummed it quickly.

“I think. How do you know?”

“Did he tell about his folks?”

“Yes...”

“I think you need to go see him fast.”

“Why should I? He-.”

“Just go! I’ll see you there!” He hung up and I grabbed my coat. If Joshua was yelling, something was definitely wrong.
________________________________________________________________________

You hate me. I hate me. I think everyone hates me, you know, Brian?

I have my razor, and I'm cutting my wrists. They're bleeding slowly, so I'll die slowly. They hurt, but not enough. It has to be painful. I slice my neck, now it really is painful.

I'm in the tub, covered in my blood. There's a picture of you hanging in here. I taped it up before I started. So, I'm not alone this time. I reach up and stroke your picture's face. I got blood on it. Red on your black hair. I tainted your picture, like I hurt you.

“Ben? Where are you?”

I'm glad I turned out the light in here. You won't find me. I'll die. Slowly, painfully, and without mercy. I have pills I have to take, because I have chronic depression. I took an overdose once, by accident because the pills are small. I took 4 instead of 3. I counted to see why it happened. They're that small. When they kicked in, I couldn't feel a thing. I was blissfully numb. I fell asleep, and even though I had really cut up my arm, I didn't feel a thing. But those were mercy. I felt weak, my vision blurring, and I hurt. All over. Like I deserved.

“Goodbye, Brian. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't deserve to kiss you.”

“BEN!!” You walked in, you found me.
________________________________________________________________________

I walked in. Everything was the same. Minus Ben.

“Ben? Where are you?” I walked into his room, and noticed his laptop was on. I scrolled up to the beginning of a long document called 'Love me' and as I read it, I noticed it was a collection of poems. About me. Why he loved me, what he thought about me, why he hid his love. I was shocked at some depressing lines about killing himself if he lost me, and how much he hated Derek. These were sick. Ben is seeing a shrink even if Joshua and I have to drag him. I stood up and walked by the bathroom. Someone was in there. I opened the door.

“—erve to kiss you. I'm sorry I hurt you.”

“BEN!!” I yelled as I pulled him up out of the tub.

“I'm sorry. I really am.” He mumbled. Oh god, don't let him die!

“Hush now, you need to get to the hospital.” I pulled him up somehow and grabbed towels hanging on the door to use as make shift bandages. “Just stay with me.”

“You want me to die.” He whispered as I pulled out my cell to call 911.

“I never said that. Hello, I’m calling from apartment 1408 on Mulberry Avenue. My friend tried to kill himself. I’ve slowed the bleeding but I can’t stop it.” The minutes crept by and after what seemed like hours, the ambulance arrived. It seemed surreal, watching them stick needles in his arms and riding with him in the ambulance. A nurse told me to sit in the waiting room, to call any family and fill out some forms. I managed to get hold of Joshua, but couldn’t remember how to write a single letter when I looked at the forms.

“He cut himself?” Joshua walked in the little room to where I sat, causing the sobbing woman and child to jump with the anger in his voice.

“It's all my fault!” I choked and he rubbed my back.

“No, no, Brian. Don't blame yourself. He's been like this for a while.” His voice softened, he smiled apologetically.

“What? Since when?” I looked up at him. “What do you mean? Ben’s the happiest guy I know.”

“Benny told me once, after I walked in on him, cutting his wrists. He's got depression. That's how I knew something like this would happen. Why do you think I told you to go see him? He'd fight anyone else.”

“I told him he was a good for nothing liar. I’ve always stood up for him and never insulted him before.”

“Benjamin will be fine. He wants to talk to you Brian.” The nurse came in and scowled at me. I nodded at Joshua and headed to his room.

“Ben,”

“Hey. Can you ask Joshua to get my medication for me? I don’t want the nurses doping me up too much.” I nodded and gave Joshua the message, then sat on the edge of the bed.

“Don't apologize. I wasn't thinking straight. I hadn't taken my anti-depressants. When I don't, my emotions go crazy.”

“That's why you kissed me, and couldn't breathe?”

“Yeah. I was scared, nervous, angry with myself 'cause I hurt you, at Derek for the same reason, and, I was worried, that I'd break and you'd reject me. Which you did.”

“I....” I didn't know what to say, I was to blame for all this. I pushed him over the edge. He should be hating me.

“I don't hate you, and I don't blame you.” He sat up and pulled me into his arms. So warm, and safe, like I felt when Kevin used to hold me. “Let's just forget this happened. Let's just move on.”

I nodded, wrapping my arms around him. I didn't deserve this, but I wasn't about to let go. Not yet, anyway. “Ben, I don't want to get your hopes up, but,” I pulled away. “We could give being a couple a chance, see if, we would be good together.”

“No, it's okay. Thanks though.” He looked uncertain for a moment; then grinned in his usual way. “Alright, Brian, scram. I'm going to sleep.”

“Okay Ben.” I smiled and walked out, now able to complete those damn forms.

………………………………………………………………………………………………….
I woke up to Joshua prodding me. I kept my eyes closed, but he poked me more.

“You're going to wake-up, and you'll take your pills.” I opened my eyes groggily and lost my breath when I realized I was looking into gorgeous chocolate brown eyes. But, this is Joshua. My best friend since middle school, not to mention the straightest friend I had. And I don’t like guys with back hair. Never have. “Up, Benny. Don't make me yank you up.”

“Okay, okay.” I sat up and he handed me a glass of water and some pills. I counted them, just to make sure. I gulped them down and he took the glass.

“What do you want to eat?”

“I'm not hungry. Thanks though.”

“I asked what you wanted to eat, not if you wanted to eat.” He frowned at me. “You lost a lot of blood. The doctor said we almost lost you. So, what'll you have? Hospital food or something nice?”

“Cheeseburger, coke and fries?”

“You got it.” He started walking out but stopped once he opened the door. “Don't do that again. Ever. If I have to make sure you never touch a sharp object again, I will.” I heard him whisper something just before he left. “I won't lose you.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………….

I always envied him. Everybody liked him when we first met. He only fought with a good reason, had friends, but he hated me. Especially 'cause I beat him up so badly.

“You know you shouldn’t bottle things up Josh.” Derek. The damn biker caused all of this. If he hadn't turned down Brian, Benny would have called me like he always did, and we'd talk, and I’d calm him down.

“Shut up. What would you know? This is your fault. We both know Benny wouldn't of tried to kill himself if you hadn’t blown up on Brian.”

“If I may finish, Joshy. I know I turned tail and yelled at him. So, I propose a deal.”

“What?”

“I tell Brian the truth, if you tell Benjamin you love him.”

“Brian is right behind you.” I smirked and Derek pivoted to face him. So much for composure. “Bye, Derek. Remember the deal.”



“Shit,” Derek cursed under his breath.

“What deal, Derek? Or am I still not allowed to speak with you?” I was mad at him. He didn't have to yell at me like he did.

“I'm sorry.” His hands were clenched, and he shifted from one foot to the other. Like a child, caught red handed. “For yelling, and, I lied.”

“Hm, you’re forgiven for yelling. But, what was that other part?”

He mumbled something, but then repeated three distinct words. “I love you.”

“Derek, I'll forgive you for lying, if you do one thing for me.” I pressed myself against him, standing on my toes to look him in the eye.

“What?” He smirked, grabbing my hips.

“Kiss me.” He smirked and pulled me close to him, then crushing our lips together. I wrapped my arms around his neck as his tongue pushed it's way into my mouth. I pushed into his mouth and took over the kiss, which apparently annoyed him because he fought back and took over again.

“I'm dominant, understood?”

“No. Maybe you should, prove your dominance?” I smirked and fingered his hair, (Damn those spikes are sexy!), and then he pulled me out the waiting room and through the hospital doors.





“He's happy. And I can move on.” It hurt. But I wouldn't let it hold me down.

“You okay, Benny?” I turned and saw Joshua, holding two Burger King bags.

“Yeah. Thanks, Joshua.” I took one and walked back into the bedroom, plopping down on my bed.

“I know you better, Ben. Your upset, and don't try lying, I know you.” Joshua sat next to me, but I ignored him. I just munched on my burger and refused to look at him.

He doesn't know me as much as he thinks.

“I've read those poems of yours.” I choked. How could he? I've never let anyone read them. “Once I decided to come over for a visit, and you weren't home. I looked on your computer, invasion of privacy, yes, but, I couldn't help it. And you need a better password then BRIAN, by the way.” He looked hurt for a minute, but it flickered away. Almost. I could see it in his eyes. “I read all that poetry, and it was really good. Quick criticism, rhyming is not your thing.”

“I only tried once.” I muttered.

“And I read that journal thing of yours. You are seriously messed up when you don't take that medication.”

“I think I know that. I just tried to kill myself for a stupid reason.” I felt tears in my eyes again.

“You saw Brian and Derek didn't you?” He moved next to me and put his burger down.

“Yeah. But it'll help me get over him.”

“What happened to you? All these years you’ve been so happy...” He put his hands on my face, stroking it.

“I am happy. Just not now.”

“Maybe I can help you be happy every day.”

“Good luck…the love of my life just left me and all I think about is him.”

Joshua leaned closer and wrapped his arms around my waist. I couldn’t move. “I know you like Brian, but, I love you.”

“I don't love you, Joshua. I can’t right now.” He kissed me. I didn’t kiss back. He pulled away and tried again, but I didn’t move my lips.

“I'll deal with that.” He whispered. “I won’t give up on you.” He rose, smiled briefly and walked out. Guess he thought I didn’t hear him and Derek.

I arrived in Honduras the 3th of July, and was promptly taken to dinner at a chinese resteraunt named Soy Sauce Dipped Dog, or something like that in Chinese. Food wasn't that great either, but still good.

First on the agenda was my cousin Hector's wedding. It wasn't traditional, just a fun for the sake of having fun wedding. Karen and Hector both love dancing and so of course they had great music. And a carnival hour. No lie, two guys on stilts handed out prizes of light up necklaces(a little jokers head), mardi gras beads, macarenas, plastic tamborines, whistles, and new years noise makers(you know, the little horns and the one you spin around on a plastic stick). Luaoi(sp?) strands too. After that there was a 70s theme where 2 professional dancers did some moves and then I danced with the guy. His name was Oswald, and I wish I could have gotten a picture of him cause he was a sexy latino. ^_~ The pictures I do have will be posted once I get them off my uncle's computer. I had some camera issues and it was the only way to save them.

I've also been to the beach. My tia lilia, tia elvia and some other aunt and my cousins Sophia, Elanna, and *cant remember the girls name, never met her before but shes Tia Elvia's daughter*, and Jeannette went to Atum for fried fish and then to a small patch of (thank god) Clean beach to swim in. The one where we ate was littered like a dumb. Yuch. So, at the resteraunte which provided a lovely view of mountain and ocean, we ate fried fish with sweet purple oniion on top and a side of fried plantains(like bannanas but sweeter), rice with beans, and small salad. And a surprise helping of bees. Bastards swoopedi n and chased half of us to the other side of the resteraunt. Only the flies followed us thankfully. For the record, flies in Honduras are expected. You can never get rid of the bastards cause they thrive here. And windows are strips of glass that are only closed in rain, with artfully molded(and sometimes not) metal bars over the window. Spain's influence and securtiy. ^_^

The other bit of beach where we went swimming, had a strip of rocks before you hit sandy bottom and only Elanna was brave enough to cross it with me. We were then promptly attacked by mystery fish biting out legs. Damn those fish! So we took some pics and left for home. Juan(my cousin closest to me in age) and I made margaritas with a lil too much vodka. I had 1 and a half cause its legal for me to drink here. I also had a shot f vodka and two of the margarita juice. All that vodka made me tipsy though, so while I was thinking straight I had little muscle control and acted like the hyper monkey I am. ^_^

The final adventure so far is my 3rd trip in my life to Copan, a nice little mountain town famous for its local Mayan ruins. It was my second time going to the ruins, and my dads first time ever. He hasn't been to Honduras ever before this summer. It wasn't much different then the last time I'd been there, a little more info and the % of uncovered ruin went from 20 to 25%. Otherwise, great for first timers but repeats get dull.

Copan itself was really nice. The souvineers are almost all hand made and I got a lovely bracelet. Then the damn chain broke and Im missing a chuck so I cant fix it till I get to my jewelry kit back home. >_<

Nothing else has happened so far, but when it does of course I'll post!

Well, the 16th of June I was in Rock Hill, SC for my college orientation. I met some nice people, none I'm utterly enamored with but this one guy was pretty cool to talk to. Met a cool lesbian but she got snobby when I said I didn't look at girls for their clothes and that I'm bi. Sooooo..no new friends yet. I LOVE my schedule though. 16 hours with bio symposium(either I sit there and listen and do nothing and pass with 100% or I don't listen and do nothing and fail. Easy, huh?) Bio 202 AND 204(lab and lecture), chem 202 and 204, german, ACAD(academy for fresman, not even a full semester of it) and Writ 101 that I'll probably pass out of anyways, since I took AP english. Max hours are 18, but I'm required to have 15 for the life scholarship. And I just wanna kill myself early! XDDD

Otherwise, college was nice. The campus was warm and beautiful, food options nice(avoid the mexican for you life though!) and tasty. I found out that 99.9% definetly I'll get Margaret Nance as a dorm b/c Phelps(only other one I asked for)is pretty much reserved for upper-classmen.

So, Winthrop overall: Nice people who want a diverse community(homosexuals and bisexuals included!), awesome exercise center(the poooooool insiiiiiide and the rockwaaaaaal and the track upstaaaaiiiirs....*purrs*), nice dorms, and internet for free in my room. And the science teachers are on the student's side, so long as you work. Party for us science majors when school starts too.^________^

Ah, chorus peeps- I'm NOT joining choir. At all. Ever. I'm done with school choirs now. Why? It came to me that it wouldn't be enjoyable. One of my feelings that I know to obey. Sorry, luffs, you won't be seeing me when Winthrop visits but I'll see you when you visit Winthrop!

I'll be heading off to college August 21 for move in day and welcome week. Anyone wanna join me for a few days and hang out? There's an illusionist show on campus that week and he's apparently very good at what he does. ^_~

Ok, thats pretty much all I have to say on Orientation. Love you all my friends and sister!


Go Eagles!

The situation of the world has come to the point where no one is capable of walking don thee street without the subconscious fear of attack. At any moment, a man may barge into a bank, his face hidden behind a ski mask and a set of Desert Eagle1 pointing at someone’s head. As you walk home one night from the 7-11, and even your own house while you sleep inside are both possible targets. Your child’s elementary school, the bus or subway you ride to work, or the mall you shop and hang out in are all places where you can never be safe unless you carry something far deadlier than everyone else. Even if you do, you can never carry it, so only the people who want to do you harm ever have a weapon. The rest of us must resort to pepper spray and mace that can never defend against a Colt Python2 pointed at our skulls.
The violence of today is not even limited to illegal acts. We watch it on the television, hear it on the radio and find entertainment in it on the big screen. Cars crash, people are shot and killed and the worst part, we allow children to watch it. Every day children watch movies and programs on cable that would cause an older generation to be horrified. The lax morals of a newer generation led society to today’s standard of extreme indulgence, enough is never enough, and whether is watching a blood thirsty mafia movie, or the evening news reporting live on a school massacre, violence feeds the hunger.
A successful end to violence does not come from rehabilitation, life in prisons overflowing with criminals and gang members, but from a currently illegal practice, that I believe will readily become legal and enforced as the absolute punishment. My proposal to the end of violence is just a simple surgery, resulting in the loss of the convicted person’s frontal lobe. Lobotomies resulted in the nullification of many insane and dangerous people in the years it was a legalized medical procedure. Innocent people did suffer when the diagnosis was incorrect or the law falsely accused them, but medical knowledge of what is best for mentally unbalanced is beyond the beliefs of those days and with the status quo of society today, lobotomies as punishment is justifiable. Any violent transgression results in the usual chain of trial by jury, then the transportation all guilty persons to a prison turned hospital facility for their lobotomy. Until all lobotomized criminals are capable of self-care, they will remain in the penitentiary they resided in after conviction. They will then relearn any basic functions, such as dressing and hygiene, which they may forget due to the procedure, and slowly be assimilated into society. When the patient is capable of functioning in society, training for a low level job, such as clean up crews and other jobs only requiring a G.E.D or high school diploma commences. This way youth are encouraged to attend a college or university, thus raising the national standards in education. The lobotomy itself acts as a substantial warning to any who consider a violent crime.


1. – Desert Eagle: semi-automatic handgun, type of magnum.
2. – Colt Python: name of a .357 Magnum, a type of small handgun.


All of you please realize this: I am being SATIRICAL. I am making fun of the system by proposing a highly dangerous andsometimes deadly procedure to human beings. Would I mind if serial rapists/murderers and child molestors punished like this? Yes. But in general this is satire. It's just very faint satire, and my teacher barely caught it.

I have been accepted to Winthrop University.

Holy F***ING S&!#!!!!

I actually wasted *calculating in head...this could take a minute* about $15(in american for anyone whose not in the U.S.) on transcripts and printing applicaitons. What a waste.... Then again, my mom paid $26 to overnight the application...and $45 for the application fee. So I can't complain. But I don't have a job so 15 bucks hurts. :(

Truthfully, I'm still in shock. Its been an hour and I actually can't believe it. I had to stop myself from rereading the line, Your application has been received and your current status is:Admitted over and over. Sad, but this is my top chioce school. I won't live with mom and dad(read my previous post to hear why I'm glad.) and I can enjoy a snow filled winter every year. I only like cold if there's snow, for the record. Majority of the time I like the temperature high as possible with low to no humidity. Yes I am strange. Deal...well, you don't have to. Few of you will probably see me on a day to day basis. So whatever.

It's kinda a scary thought.... I'll have to race from building to building instead of room to room like normal. Crap... If you ever go to Winthrop for whatever reason, I'll be the girl zipping around on her bike. Skinny from malnourishment and lack of rest. Yup.

I am going to miss seeing my friends every day. Most of them are sophomores and juniors, but I'll visit when I have a free day. Plus, they'll all have my email and link to this journal so we can keep in touch. Yay! *hugs for all of them*